lets get personal

Oh, Kristina! I hear you on the hug -- there is some real loneliness there. Her circumstances certainly set her up for isolation, and I think a lot of it can be attributed to your (2) -- the "otherness" that always remains with immigrants. But I have to say, I think sometimes Jhumpa Lahiri fixates on the distance we may feel from people and the fixation makes it greater -- it doesn't really HAVE to be that way. I think there are many happinesses in life that she doesn't allow her characters to enjoy. They always feel so far apart from each other -- this particularly saddens me with the relationships between parents and children. Why is there so much hidden? Why is communication so stifled between them?

A lot of this is personal, and slightly unfair; as someone from the exact same group, of bengali immigrants, I always felt extra close to my family - we were connected to each other in a way that was impossible with both our peers in America and our family who stayed in India -- we were doing something entirely unique, together. I think this can lead to real unity and communication within a family, and so I get very sad to see Jhumpa's characters, who are not only distant from their american peers/spouses, but also from their own nuclear family members! So they really are all alone (and make really bizarre decisions as a result! have you read the one about Sang and Farouk? Why in the world would she date that guy?)

To think about the questions -- why didn't Dadu want to stay? tricky... I would think it has something to do with being slightly afraid of the judgments of his daughter --- for some reason he doesn't want to reveal these aspects of his lifestyle to her, he is afraid she won't understand them. or he just doesn't want to have to deal with talking about it with her -- it all comes back to the lack of openness, and thus the inability to have a "live and let live" mentality if they were all in the same home together. There is a sense that he would be giving up a lot of freedom. I think there is a part of her that really wanted him to say yes -- I get the sense that if it was something imposed on her externally, she would really love it --- she's just having a problem being the asker/decision maker.

(and the postcard did feel a bit contrived, but i guess helped illustrate some powerful emotions...)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Sang and Farouk story next --- so, so much distance there, between everyone involved. Extremely lonely people, doing strange things while orbiting around each other. Why do you think the roommate made the choices he made in his attempt to save Sang from this relationship? Why do you think Sang was willing to put up with such a shady character?

the contented immigrant --
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